Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Reality hits you hardest when death is involved... I hate facing it, but for the past two weeks I have to deal with it. When it happened, I couldn't believe it that it happen so soon... I thought there would be more time... I took everything for granted...

And now it's two weeks since the death occurred. It still hurts when I think about it especially when I'm writing this. At first I was blaming myself for it... I could've done something... It was just time though. It can't be helped when it's time. I thank my family and friends for realizing this part. I still wish I could do something, but I know that it's done and there's nothing else I can do but remember the good times.

Right now I'm only coping and trying to get a sense of normalcy back in my life, but still difficult even though it felt like there wasn't much before death happened... It was routine and now that routine is disrupted and completely changed forever.

I kept this quiet to a lot of people. Only a few of my friends knew about it and I told about it. And I thank those people, you know who you are, who have helped me in this time of grief.

One friend inadvertently cheered me up though he didn't know my situation. He just linked me a video and that was somewhat cheering me up. This is that video:

Apparently there's a lot of these video which is called 腰ふりダンス but looking up "MMD Libera Me" also lets you find more of these videos. It occupied my mind.

But it wasn't until I was browsing Danbooru that I encountered some Ao Usagi's art that made me felt better and I was laughing again.

One of the tags on Pixiv said it's a "flat chest". I laughed hard! It was one of the most hilarious thing I heard. Then I looked up some more and found lots more interesting images. It was a step forward to getting my life back.

It was a week ago that I felt there were closure to this death business. And I mean business! You spend LOTS of money when someone dies! I'm kinda sickened by it, but I was also pleasantly surprised to see the generosity of other people. Very kind people.

I know this is one of the strangest post... It was sad but I've put in a lot of ecchi things as well. It can't be helped because there are just a lot of emotions in life and you gotta keep on living. And I guess my way of living is through this ^^; This was pretty much how I felt in the last two weeks.

Anyway there were a few more Ao Usagi's art that I found that day and I was just laughing my head off despite the situation ^^;

1/7 Reimu figure is the title of this picture... Basically only a fraction of Reimu instead of the 1/7 scale ^^; There was a different one that is NSFW, but it was also hilarious!

Here's another video that cracked me up. I couldn't help but smile and I also went and look for other versions of this video ;)

Bunch of lolicons! XD

And another video that to this day I've kept watching over and over, especially after finding the first video I posted with the cute MikuMikuDance character called Rhea.

Very cute! I wonder what's going on at the end of it.

So now I've been trying to reconfigure my life after this event... I'll continue what I usually do, but maybe not as much. I've been slowing down as it is. Busy life has become busier... Thank you again to everyone who've helped me and for the kind words. I hope to repay your kindness in some way one day.

Lastly, I leave you with a picture of Kyuubey... I intend to use this picture for a profile picture somewhere someday and then show people the whole picture :P


  1. LS these are sad times, I'm sorry for what's happened so suddenly... just remember to take care of yourself and always be with your family. Your pals are always gonna be here for you too ^^

  2. Thanks Yaku. Friends really helped me cope. This is the first time something major happened, so I didn't know what to do and didn't even tell a lot of my friends. Even though they didn't show up in droves, little by little helped a lot ^.^

  3. I'm sorry on what had happened but I'm relieved that you could get this over with the help of your friends, family and of course, otaku culture

  4. Thanks Blacksun88. I think just going back to normal is one way to recover. Even though I thought it was inappropriate at the time ^^;

  5. I'm sorry to hear something so tragic has happened, and I can't imagine what you must be going through. But please take care of yourself.

  6. @Yi: It has been almost 3 weeks now, so hopefully time has been healing, but yeah, it's still hard. Thank you.

  7. Oh..that's really sad, sometimes bad things really happen in our life,but try to cheer up & take care...You can recover & must feel happy,there's a friend, relative & some otaku in Figure.FM/DC will comfort you..again cheer up & take care ^Y^

  8. I hope you're doing all right. Coping is always difficult, so do what you need to do to get some normalcy back into your life. Best of luck to you.

  9. My condolences my friend! Death is never a matter easily delt with, everyone has their own memories and experiences they share with each and everyone of their family and friends, losing even one is devastating. I can't say I know how you entirely feel, but I have gone through this too years ago, but felt like yesterday. Keep your chin up, keep living for that person, and most of all take care of yourself. My condolences again and best of luck Robert! God bless.

  10. Death is an inevitable part of life and will touch you sooner or later. It's a sad truth (as is the point about the costs. I don't think anyone could imagine what has to be done when someone dies until they see it for themselves).

    Everyone has their own way of handling it but time is pretty much the only "healer" from my experience. And we're talking months and years! All I can say is, don't rush yourself. You'll know when you're ready to stand up and get on with things.

  11. @Anonymous: You sound familiar ^^; Sorry for not knowing, but thank you very much.

    @Duriel: Yeah, doing alright now. Sometimes remembering about the day sorta hits me hard though. Thank you.

    @Argyle: Thank you very much Argyle. I will do that.

    @gundamjehutykai: I was kinda hoping I didn't have to touch this part of life this soon, but you are right. It was expensive and very nerve-wracking because it's hard to find everything. It's almost a month now... Maybe I'm just a bit out of touch with life that it seemed easier. Thank you.

  12. I like the Goku photo in the beginning. I forgot about that pic. Good choice, Ototo-kun!

    We're all too busy these days, especially with our work scheds. We need to do something together, and I have a couple of things in mind regarding the 40-days & the weekend after. Remind me if I forget to tell you about it :)

  13. I haven't told this to anyone outside my family and close coworkers but I too lost a family member a few months back. My father to be exact. Took me a whole week to get myself straight and even now a part of me thinks that none of this actually happened. What hurts worst is when the mourners comes over to your house and talks about his death :P
    From my experience, the best way to cope with things like these are to cry and let it all go while you can and continue living life as you have. Take pictures of dolls, watch animes or anything that will take your mind off of things.
    Take care man.

  14. @mh: The Goku pic was stuck in my head for a while trying to make this post ^^ Ok, talk later about those plans.

    @lycorisoradiata: Ah, my condolences... I hope my post didn't bring bad memories. Well I think I sorta gave it a clue from the Goku picture that it is my father. And yeah, I feel the same way you do. You've said exactly how I felt this whole time. I wasn't going to mention this either, but I was hoping this would be helpful for me. I thought that meeting people and living my life was kinda bad at first, but I guess eventually it will help. Thank you for sharing and your comment.